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BANANA PEELSJamie PopowichAESTHETICS STATEMENT: The Banana Peels project pokes, prods, stretches, magnifies, minimizes, and otherwise runs the gamut of the permutations of the classic slapstick slipping-on-a-banana-peel gag. During the course of my investigations I have discovered, embedded within our society, never-ending occurrences of banana peel slips (and slippages) -- as the maestro of the first Peels says, 'There are Banana Peels everywhere.' The peels you are receiving are of the news reports that are censored, the people in second storey apartments that we glimpse quickly as we're passing them by, and the historical facts that are forgotten over time.
There are banana peels everywhere. There's one on that bedroom floor. Another in the closet. There are piles of peels on the subway stairs. The doctor prescribes peels. Grandma makes broth from them. Children play peel-games. A husband says to his wife, "Banana Peel?" She replies, "Banana Peel!" They shout "BANANA PEEL" as they slam doors to each other's backs. Gangs keep dyed peels in their back pockets. Gentlemen challenge each other to duels with the slap of a peel. In that candlelit bedroom window across the street, a lecher shows a banana peel to a lady. Meanwhile, two teenagers tie peels to their feet and ride them down a hill. Buildings use peels for curtains. Drugstores sell peels as condoms. Upper crusts wear banana peels as hats. And next year's fall television season—covered in peels. That man, there, wears peels for pockets. The woman you're about to pass, she uses peels as a bra. A serial killer smothers her victims with banana peels. Hubcaps are diluted peels. Hair is grown from peels. Advice is given out of the stem end of the peel. A small person wears a peel on each ear. Missile silo walls are padded with peels. Cocaine is cut with peels. Eye crust is made up of miniscule shards of peel. Small amounts were found in the blood of the king. Mushroom clouds were shaped in honour of peels. Science is baffled by the peel's existence.
Banana peels used. Banana peels thrown. Banana peels fall. Banana peels sitting. Banana peels waiting. Banana peels peeling. Banana peels banana. Peels banana peels.
Banana Peels.
*** A Supplemental List of Aerial Concerns:
Anvils Pianos Falling Men Jumping Women Potted Plants Bricks Arrows Cats Dogs Acorns Trees Buildings Satellites Asteroids Stars Planets
*** From Window
*** FACT:
3% of the air contained in a person's yawn is poisonous. These poisons are an accumulation of the toxins that a body absorbs during the processes of life. Though rare, a yawn actually wields the power to kill a person. Historians believe that the gesture of covering one's mouth when yawning did not derive as an act of manners, but in fact was done because people feared being tried for murder.
*** (phone call recorded for training purposes)
"Who'd you say this is?" "Ken is calling." "Are you from the hospital?" "No, sir. I'm calling on behalf of Cruiser Liners with the offer of a luxurious package deal." "Luxurious. If you only knew how ridiculous that word sounds to me." "But I've an offer on a service you haven't known before?" "What do you mean? You want to sell me something." "Yes. Very much." "Sure. Why not. Everybody else is trying to sell me something. My god damn doctor just sold me a whole new life. Sorry. You'll have to excuse me but I'm a lot drunk at the moment. It's how I've been coping." "Did you say you love vacations?" "Sure I do. I'd love one right now. Can you give me a vacation from myself?" "The offer I have is good for two." "Of course it's for two. Look, buddy, I don't want to dick you around. I can't go anywhere right now. Just to give you an idea...my own mother...she called me a murderer. Can you imagine that?" "Ken is sorry to hear that." "Who?" "Ken." "Ken?" "Yes?" "Ken? Oh, right. You're Ken." "Hello!" "Look, I hate to unload on you like this but would you mind, can I be honest with you?" "I'm here to help." "My doctor...Doctor Rothstein...he's going to..." "Yes? Sir?
"Sir, did you hang up?" "Ken...I saw X-rays. You understand? X-rays of myself. I saw them. I saw teeth. There were fingernails. They were growing inside me. I had these headaches.... At first, Rothstein, he said they were just headaches..." "Perhaps if you agree to my terms, all your headaches will disappear?" "I appreciate what you're trying to do, buddy, but I'm stuck here. I got to get this removed...this cyst.... It's near my coccyx...it's still there. Still thriving on me." "The trip is available for 12 months." "Oh, I think I get you. You don't mean going on a trip now. You're saying go after the surgery right?" "A break from the grindstone. You'd be an odds on favourite to win." "Yeah, maybe I should play the odds. Look at me. I'm one in a million. Well, two in a million." "So you would agree to my deal?" "I don't know. I can't make a decision about anything. Should I be doing this? I was an only child. And now.... Do you come from a big family?" "I'm only Ken." "I hear you. Just one. Just like I was. Now here's me and my...sibling. We're the same age. The thing could have been my mum's favourite if it had had the chance." "I'm offering the chance of a lifetime." "A lifetime, huh. What? Like me and it grow old together? Like we both pass away on some porch, me sitting on it on a rocking chair?" "Exactly. A guest and you. Take time to be by yourselves." "Ah...I can't...I can't keep this.... I can't convince me. Just the thought of.... I'm not doing it." "Very well. Thank you for the time to hear me out." "Ken, come on. This isn't easy for me." "I can call back at a more convenient time?" "The surgery will be done by then." "Then have a pleasant good weekend." "Wait a second..."
"Ken? You still there?"
"Ken?"
"Ken?" ***
*** Elevator Ride
"How's work going up there?" "Pretty hectic. Last week, they cut the air off in our offices." "Pardon?" "I know. They wanted to see what we were made of." "Jesus." "We didn't lose any people-hours, though. That makes all the difference."
***
"The army feels that if the television stations would be running the war in colour that the real-life flesh wounds would be far more vivid and realistic to our citizens. That'd bring the battles to their homes and a deeper appreciation of what we're all about."
-- A Colonel speaking to the US Senate in 1969 during the Vietnam War
***
"Doctor John, I've got to stop you there. We're going straight to East End of Metraville, where Jim Rockford has a breaking story. Jim what's happening?" "I'm standing in chaos and fear. Only moments ago, at the corner of Richmond and York, Building 132 committed suicide. An architect had been on the roof at the time, trying to coax the building down, but as you can see from the devastation around me, he was unsuccessful." "Jim, do we know how this started?" "Well, Jim, workers tell me that around 6 this morning they noticed 132 start to sway far to the right. Many hoped wind was a factor but a gentleman in sanitation has told me that the reason the architect was called so quickly was that 132 was seen as a risk to itself, and that over the past 4 months, some cubicles and two small offices in the building had already plunged to their destruction." "Jim, what was wrong with 132?" "Construction workers familiar with the site are telling me that 132 had been going through major renovations for the past year, and that the renovations were not going well. Apparently, cost cutting may have played a major part in this tragedy. And right now, what most fear on the street is that other, copycat, buildings will follow suit. Meanwhile, rescue crews are hoping that they may be able to salvage some intact walls or if they're lucky, maybe they can find a whole floor. I'm told that this has happened in the past."
[Footage of the building jumping was destroyed due to infringement persecution[1]]
BREAKING NEWS Building Jumps off Man
***
[1] Transcript courtesy of the archives of the Media Guild of America's Unpublished Accounts of the Reel, 2007 |
